The Life-Cycle of an Infomaniac

Step 1: Recognize that you need a zero distractions environment to work effectively. Turn off all music & avoid the Internet & write. Generally like the work you have done. Hooray!

Step 2: Feel like you accomplished something by having a really healthy and productive time (step 1). Deserve to reward self with some Internetting.

Step 3: Get back to writing, interrupted by thoughts, e.g., “I wonder what is happening with that one thing that I care about now that it has been time frame?” Stop writing to check on said thing.

Step 4: Realize this is bad behavior, and successfully put it off until the end of the day. Feel v. productive, but evening consumed with trawling the Internet trying to catch up. Repeat steps 1-4 daily until…

Step 5: Next day—there are a lot of things that you now care about that are all happening on the Internet while you are spending all of this time writing about things that will certainly no longer be relevant by the time you are able to get back to the Internet to catch up. Go check twitter to see if stuff has happened (stuff always happens).

Step 6: Follow that link on gendered spaces in language, now read about the philosopher that author mentioned in the article, watch a lecture by said philosopher, tweet about it because AMAZING, get responses that lead you to a really insightful article about intersectionality in gendered space (AKA life), start panicking because none of this has anything to do with the topic you are actually writing about, and therefore is not actually relevant to work. Have existential crisis. Debate self about whether or not your work should more closely reflect your life. Try to determine if the separation of interest in self-expansion and writing is okay. How do you separate those things now that you think about it? Web search interviews with authors you admire to make you feel better (better?) about your failures.

Step 7: Time to make dinner. Maybe this is the first time you have remembered to eat today. Realize today was much less productive with the added bonus of hating everything you wrote. Resolve to begin again in the evening.

Step 8: Too tired. Want to snuggle and play video games.

Step 9: Bedtime. Can’t sleep. Read more news. Makes no sleep more. Tweet about it. Realize you are insufferable. You contemplate deleting Twitter for the millionth time, still never really serious about it.

Step 10: Repeat steps 5-9 until so exhausted you wonder why you feel so terrible. Realize you have done this to yourself & need to make healthy boundaries and restrictions. Go back to step 1.

One Comment Add yours

  1. A. J. Vrana says:

    I relate so hard. Honestly, one of the worst things about it for me is that I can end up not leaving my apartment for days. Usually because I resolve to stay in and write, but then end up getting so distracted the whole day goes by–woops.


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